Wednesday, September 20, 2006

ARod and Giambi, Godzilla and Mothra

This whole ARod v Giambi brawl is a beautiful thing.

It’s like a Godzilla vs Mothra and Yankee Stadium is Tokyo. We get to be those ever-present kids in shorts — all of whom seem to be named "Kenny" — who watch the whole brawl, cheer on both sides and somehow never get crushed.

In case you missed it, Sports Illustrated has a big story this week about Giambi allegedly going to Joe Torre and telling him to stop coddling Rodriguez.

Note for a second that the coddled Arod is hitting .286 with 111 RBI and 34 bombs while clubhouse enforcer Giambi is hitting nearly 40 points lower with seven fewer RBI. I guess his two more home runs gives him the authority to call out the reigning American League MVP.

This exchange is classic, according to Giambi, through SI:

Giambi: "We're all rooting for you and we're behind you 100 percent, but you've got to get the big hit."

"What do you mean? I've had five hits in Boston."

"You [expletive] call those hits? You had two [expletive] dinkers to right field and a ball that bounced over the third baseman! Look at how many pitches you missed! When you hit three, four or five [in the order], you have to get the big hits, especially if they're going to walk Bobby [Abreu] and me. I'll help you out until you get going. I'll look to drive in runs when they pitch around me, go after that 3-and-1 pitch that might be a ball. But if they're going to walk Bobby and me, you're going to have to be the guy."

SlapRod should have used this opportunity to mention that:

A) He has two MVP awards to Giambi’s one.

B) Giambi’s one award came because he had a hot September to help the A’s get into the playoffs, where they promptly tanked.

C) Giambi’s own bother contributed to one of those tankings by failing to slide and allowing a fluke throw to turn Freaking Jeter into a human hype machine.

D) Rodriguez never hit .207 over the course of a full season marred by alleged "health issues."

E) Said "health issues" may or may not have been brought on by behavior described in leaked grand jury testimony involving allegedly steroid use.

F) Rodriguez never reported to spring training looking like a shell of his former self and explained the amazing weight loss to yoga.

G) Rodriguez never had to conduct a press conference where he apologized for an offense, but said he was unable to say exactly what the offense was, though it came after the weight loss and leaked testimony.

F)ARod might have "false confidence," but Giambi's confidence allegedly comes in the form of the cream or the clear.

G) No team Rodriguez has ever worked for ever seriously looked into voiding his contract, allegedly for the activity mentioned in the grand jury testimony.

There’s plenty of ammo there. But does Arod fire back? No.

Instead, he goes all Mothra, gimping back to Infant Island so the twin mini fairies can sing him back to sleep.

"[Mike] Mussina doesn't get hammered at all," he told SI. "He's making a boatload of money. Giambi's making [$20.4 million], which is fine and dandy, but it seems those guys get a pass. When people write [bad things] about me, I don't know if it's [because] I'm good-looking, I'm biracial, I make the most money, I play on the most popular team ..."

Goodness, Alex. Man up!

The Wilpons took a lot of heat for not signing this wuss back in 2001, but they look pretty smart when this nonsense slips out.

Meanwhile, we get to run around like the Kennys, hoping that this brawl plays out on the back pages of the Post through the postseason.

A dysfunctional Yankee clubhouse is never a bad thing. We've already had scandals involving always injured Carl Pavano hydroplaning his sled into the back of a truck and not telling the team.

And while this is a long way from Billy and Reggie playing patty cake in the Fenway dugout, the relative lovefest of the Torre era seems to toast.

I do have to say that the timing of this whole thing is curious. And it was written by Tom Verducci, a well-known Yankee apologist who probably buys into the whole notion that Rodriguez isn't a "true Yankee." Wonder if this was a Dick Young-esque management hit?

Meanwhile, we can all kick back for a couple weeks and watch Willie work Julio Franco into as many new positions as possible after his recent visits to second and third bases. I wanna see that guy pitch!

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