Monday, May 26, 2014

David Wright and the inner-secrets of gnomes

There’s a story sweeping the Internet about a Tennessee woman who accidentally dropped her garden gnome, discovering inside a hidden, detailed mystery figure.

She’s speculating that it’s a female form of some kind, perhaps an angel. You can read all about it – and even see a video – here.

The injured gnome, named Pete, now has his own Facebook page. 

He’s also lonely, as the women confessed to smashing all of her other gnomes to see if there was anything inside. There wasn't.

We here at Mets Guy do not endorse gnome carnage of any kind. 

Wanton destruction of gnomes on the off-chance that they harbor some inner- secrets is just wrong. Borrow an MRI machine.

We do know a thing or two about the inner-workings of gnomes.

We have under our roof, the Gnome of Victory and Celebration, who travels the country posing with landmarks, spreading joy and standing as the embodiment of  Mets victories and other good things.

As you also remember, the Gnome faced temporary dismembermentat the hands of a rogue jackalope at Wall Drug in South Dakota. Thanks to Uncle Jeff, Zack and the impressive inventory of Wall Drug, the gnome was reunited with his pieces in time for our visit to Mount Rushmore and Crazy Horse.

He’s had two accidental dismemberments since -- first, after measuring the accumulated snow in the driveway, and, more recently, while bouncing around the car trunk.

Today we obtained a safe trunk travel system, decreasing the odds of future breakage. But inspired by this Tennessee revelation, I decided to take a peek inside the Gnome of Victory and Celebration prior to repairs as the hot glue gun was warming up.

I expected nothing, of course. No startling images popped out in the previous separations. But we were so focused on despair and repair at the time that we never really took a close look. We also know that the battle-scarred Gnome of Victory of Celebration is a very special lawn ornament.

Is there hidden meaning to the two protrusions?
The first inspected part revealed what appear to be two distinctive protrusions of sorts, perhaps representing the Mets’ two world championships. Or, they could represent the Mets’ two World Series defeats. We decided not to look too closely for meaning and hope for better in the other part.

At first, there didn't appear to be anything. But slowly it emerged. A nose, a heroic if not troubled brow, cheeks – the unmistakable likeness of David Wright!

Seriously, take a closer look:

The unmistakable likeness of David Wright.

There he is, the Mets’ captain, right inside the Gnome of Victory and Celebration. Perhaps he serves as the gnome’s inner-voice, a conscience guiding him to embrace all the joys of Mets fandom and not dwelling on the sad times that seem to come and go.

We seem to be in one of those extended challenging times right now. Matt Harvey is on the shelf – and apparently in denial about his needed recovery time. We don’t seem to be scoring any runs. The bullpen seems allergic to saves.

But David Wright knows that good times are not far away. 

Our young pitchers seem to be as good as advertised. Curtis Granderson, shaking off the Yankee taint, is starting to mash the ball. Wilmer Flores has not injured any fans sitting behind first base with errant throws. And we have three players on the roster with little d’s to start their last names – Travis d’Arnaud, Jacob deGrom and Matt den Dekker, which has to be good for something.

David Wright could have fled as a free agent last year, but he chose to stay a Met. He knows that soon there will be victory and triumph.

And, like the Gnome of Victory and Celebration, we need to listen to our inner David Wright, calling for patience, not panic.

The glee of my newfound serenity was interrupted by the aroma of melting glue, and we quickly reassembled the Gnome of Victory. Like all Mets fans, he’s been roughed and has looked better.

Maybe, like the Gnome of Victory and Celebration, there's a little David Wright in all of us.

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