Sunday, November 24, 2013

Bad Postcard of the Week: Mystery bean stalk in Muskegon

Welcome to the 1950s idea of a theme park.

Once upon a time, people of all ages could be amused by walking through the woods and seeing wooden versions of nursery rhymes with an occasional deer safely frolicking among the Humpty Dumpties.

I discovered an entire postcard package of Deer Park, and we can start with our friend Jack.

The back reads: “DEER PARK, MUSKEGON, MICHIGAN:  This view shows Jack and the Bean Stalk at the entrance to Deer Park, along US-31 eight miles North of Muskegon in a beautiful 40 acre forest. You can feed and pet over 100 deer and fawn. Enjoy the picnic area and snack-bar.”

There’s some interesting punctuation and capitalization in there, but let’s stick to the front of our card.

If you remember the story, Jack is nearly banished for trading something important for “magic beans.”

 Everybody is surprised when the beans actually are magic, and a huge stalk grows into the heavens.

Jack climbs all the way to the top, where he discovers a giant living in the clouds and bad things start to happen.

So many problems.

Is this Jack, or the giant? We don’t know.

If we assume it is Jack, how is he holding on to the bean stalk? His hands are on his hips.

Jack seems kinda plump. I’m not sure the stalk would support his girth. How is it not bending over as it is? But they were magic beans, so we’ll assume it is super strong.

Our stalk does not seem exceptionally tall. Most of the surrounding trees are taller. Who knew that you just had to climb two-thirds of the way up a tree to find giants?

Let’s look at the bottom of the stalk. I’m loving the snow fence. Do you think that’s there because some people tried to climb the stalk? Or, did they think that some people might try to climb the stalk? Did they really think that someone loopy enough to climb a bean stalk would be deterred by a flimsy snow fence?

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