As we all know by now, the Mets axed Willie Randolph at 3 a.m. this morning and named Jerry Manuel as his interim replacement.
Let’s waste no time in picking the Mets new manager. Here are some potential candidates, as well as their pluses and minuses:
Upside: Boasted she’d be the best one to handle bad news at 3 a.m.
Downside: Bill becomes the bench coach.
Upside: Gives him something to do while he’s on the disabled list.
Downside: Will pull a hammy walking to home plate to exchange lineup cards.
Upside: Could throw hot dogs into the stands with that launcher on the way to the mound to change pitchers.
Downside: Head already is pretty big.
He’s a baseball genius. Just ask him.
Downside: Will obsess over entrance songs, making sure no Yankees are offended.
Derek F. Jeter
Upside: His intangibles make everything better. Joe Morgan will finally praise Mets.
Downside: Clubhouse will have stench of "Driven," Jeter’s cologne.
Upside: Duh. She’s Rachael Ray.
Downside: None whatsoever.
Upside: At least he’ll stop killing us on the field.
Downside: Phillie taint.
Downside: Would make Carlos Beltran change name to Karlos.
Mets Guy in Michigan:
Upside: I coach a coed softball team, and we have a better winning percentage than the Mets.
Downside: I think I pissed off Tony Bernazard ages ago when he was on my fantasy team.
Upside: We already know he wants the job. Really, really wants the job.
Downside: You have to be crazy to want this job.