Friday, May 30, 2008

Lincoln's hair, Rachael Ray's scarf and the Friday Five

Another crazy week. But the softball team won again — beating our friendly rivals — and the Mets are proving that Willie should be threatened with a pink slip more often.

So let’s waste no further time and get right to the Deezo Friday Five.

1) I fear for the future of baseball cards. Upper Deck apparently got bored slicing up historic baseball jerseys and bats because it’s now moved on to historical documents — and worse.

Actually Topps has been pasting cut autographs onto cards for several years. But Upper Deck has gone one step further: a strand of hair.

A "Hair Cuts" cards insert set is planned for 2008 SP Legendary Cuts Baseball boxes that will include a cut autograph and strand of the celebrity’s hair.

Included in the mix are locks from George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Geronimo, Andrew Jackson and Babe Ruth.

Frightening as it is, I think this could get worse. I fully expect this to leap from historical figures to current players.

It’s bad enough that I might pull a Derek F. Jeter card out of a pack, much less a card with a piece of a jersey allegedly worn by Capt. Intangibles. But to hold in my hands something plucked from Jeter’s head — and I hope it’s just his head — is just creepy, creepy, creepy.

A David Wright card would be pretty cool, though.

2) If that wasn’t bad enough, the company also has a "Presidential Predictor" card showing Hillary Clinton lifting Barack Obama in victory. You know what would be cool? If my baseball card sets had cards of baseball players. Seriously, I guy like Fernando Tatis can’t get on a card, but we have silly drawings of politicians.

3) There’s a slight chance I have a long-distance crush on Rachael Ray. I’m sure a lot of guys also subscribe to her magazine for the articles.

Rachael apparently likes to make herself available for us all to view her by appearing in many, many commercials.

But Dunkin’ Donuts pulled an ad featuring Ms. Yum-O after columnist Michelle Malkin said Ray was wearing a scarf that appears to be similar to a traditional Arab headdress called a keffiyeh. Malkin said the scarf makes Rachael appear sympathetic to jihadists. As if. She just wants them to buy Ritz crackers.

Now, if she were wearing a Yankees cap, I’d boycott.

Trust me on this, no one was happier that Malkin went off the deep end than Dunkin’ Donuts. Why would the company pull the ads? So newspapers and cable stations would write stories about the company pulling the ads, giving it all kinds of free publicity.

But Dunkin’ will get no such compliance from this blog. Oh, wait.

4) Baseball hasn’t really been the same since bullpen buggies disappeared. They were like our sport’s version of the Zamboni. And maybe our relief pitchers would have been less tired at the end of last season if they didn’t have to trek all the way across the outfield on their way to the mound.

5) I learned a lot of things researching this week’s lost iPod classic, "Hey, St. Peter" by Flash and the Pan. It’s another song where all kinds of things are going on, with unusual vocals and instruments that don’t seem to fit — but somehow do. And the lyrics mention New York, which always helps.

I always thought Flash was a one-hit wonder, but then I found out it was a side project from the songwriting team of Vanda and Young. They were in a band called the Easybeats that scored a hit with "Friday on My Mind" in the late 1960s, then settled into a career of writing and producing songs for a whole bunch of bands. Most notably, they worked with a metal band that included Young’s little brothers, Angus and Malcom. Maybe you’ve heard of AC/DC.

Now for a word of caution. The video is atrocious, even for something from the 1970s. I’d say it looks like something produced by high school kids, but I wouldn’t want to insult teen-agers. It might forever ruin whatever nice feelings you have for the song. It’s that bad.


G-Fafif said...

Fun-looking card, but I'm voting the straight Tatis-Evans ticket this fall.

Anonymous said...

You are an idiot.

The "Hey, St. Peter" video is all kinds of retro hotness.