Friday, March 14, 2008

Cornzilla and Panera Bread muffies? Take it easy, it's only spring training.

Been a pretty good week in Mets land, especially compared to the ongoing fiasco that is the Yankees.

Both teams are hosting events in their stadia in their farewell years. The Mets, of course, are allowing Billy Joel to rock the house, a nod to the historic concerts Shea has hosted over its four decades.

Meanwhile, the Yankees are using their dump for a hockey game. Because, well, they know the team won’t be needing it after the now-traditional swoon in the first round of the playoffs.

Notice, to that the Rangers will be playing the Red Wings instead of the Isles or Devils. That’s probably because the Rangers wanted people cheering for them instead for the opposition.

And then the team turned a spring game into a glorified fantasy camp, allowing Billy Crystal to celebrate his 60th birthday by taking an at-bat.

Billy Crystal pretending to be a Mets fan.

I noticed they didn’t let Crystal take the field, which would have been pretty risky. You think Derek Jeter is pouting now with A-Rod by his side. What would have happened if all the world had seen that Crystal has more range than Jeter?

It should be noted that when Garth Brooks was in camp with the Mets, he took it seriously and raised money for a valuable cause.

Then you have new tough guy manager Joe Girardi whining because Rays prospect Elliot Johnson hustling in a spring training game took out one of his prospect catchers, saying Johnson should have given himself up so no one got hurt. That must have been what Joe Torre told the Yankees in the 2004 playoffs against the Red Sox.

But enough about the Yankees. Let’s get to the Deezo Friday Five :

1) This is probably the coolest Mets T-shirt ever. I’m expecting to see a lot of Shea Stadium stuff out there this year, but nothing is going to top the glorious Home Run Apple, finally given the respect it deserves. I found this on the Mets shopping site , not that I’m dropping birthday hints or anything.

2) Panera’s chocolate chip muffies = breakfast crack. It’s true that I get a sesame seed bagel and a muffie from my local Panera probably four days a week. The nice people in the store know my order and start bagging and toasting as soon as they see me walking in the door. The down side is that sometimes I actually want something else, but once they start bagging and toasting I don’t have a choice. And if you start yelling "DON’T SLICE THAT SESAME! I WANT A CINNAMON CRUNCH!" as soon as you cross the threshold it’s gonna freak out the other customers.

3) I know very little about "High School Musical," but I know enough to wonder how it could possibly translate into an ice show. I refuse to see this. I’m holding out for "Field of Dreams — On Ice!" The idea of the 1919 Black Sox skating around guys dressed as corn stalks moving in precision nearly moves me to tears. "Hey, Dad. Wanna do a Salchow?"

4) Mary Ann busted for pot? Gotta admit I didn’t see this coming. The Professor? Maybe. Gilligan? Obviously. But not America’s girl next door. Tony and I met Dawn Wells once. She came to Columbia, Mo. to appear at an open house at a new hospital that opened next to our dorm at Mizzou. She was really nice and really pretty and happily autographed photos for us. On the bright side, she followed Tom DeLay's philosophy, "They're gonna use the photo everywhere, so you might as well smile."

5) Cornzilla. The West Michigan Whitecaps are easily the best-run sports franchise I’ve ever seen. But I have to tell you I’m a little worried about this. Here’s the release:

"The Whitecaps are getting even cornier this season! Welcome the newest addition to the Whitecaps family, Cornzilla! Cornzilla can roast 400 ears of corn every hour. You can dip the corn in butter with choices of salt, ranch, Cajun or secret special corn seasoning to top it off! Make sure you stop by Cornzilla on the main concourse — if you dare!"

I dare. I can’t wait. The team’s other signature food is Frankie the Swimming Pig, a darn good pork sandwich, and he gets to be a mascot and everything. I want to see somebody in a Cornzilla costume in the worst way!

In other words:

Two of the best Mets Web sites teaming up? That's what happens when Mets By the Numbers interviews Greg Prince of Faith and Fear in Flushing for a must-read post. But Joe Girardi would say "Take it easy, boys. It's only spring."


Tony Hartsfield said...

I was just thinking about us meeting Ms. Wells in Columbia. I was too embarrassed to confess that I wanted her to autograph the picture to me. I think I invented a nephew named Tony or something.

Wonder where I lost that picture...

Anonymous said...

More proof that the yanks are evil- we went to a town parade today, loaded with kids baseball teams. The Mets team's kids passed out candy to the crowds, the yankee kids squirted the innocent bystanders with super soaker water guns! Its sure starts young...

~Sunshine Sis

Anonymous said...

I totally hate when Crystal does his Yankee a-- kissing, your a comedian, not a baseball player, get over it already!! Mary Anne and Pot.. I am sure it was a complicated slight, formulated by that way too smart for his own good professor and no doubt funded by Ms. Thurston Howell III, a little too happy to be stranded and WAY over packed for a three hour tour, if you ask me. Mary Anne is way to pure to get involved in that stuff without the usual (here comes my St. Patty's tribute) shenanigan's - God that felt good, I am Irish you know, thanks to Great Great Grandfater John Magowan, and the lastest news from the FLA based Murray Household. So Happy St Patrick's Day to all of the Clan, and let us, for one day, forget about the evil empire, silly ole Billy Crystal and poor unsupectin' Mary Anne!
My two cents,

Mets Guy in Michigan said...

Tim! Hope you and the little Irish there in Granite Bay had a nice holiday!

I bet the pitcher got a little scared when Crystal got some wood on that first pitch. You gotta figure that nothing would get you sent to the minor league camp quicker than giving up a single to a washed-up, 60-year-old fantasy camper!

Anonymous said...

No doubt he caught a whole bunch of s--- from "the boys" over that one, I can just hear it, "what, come-on, I was throwing really soft to him...I,er ..kinda like Billy." While Crystal is saying, "Man you shoulda seen the smoke he was throwing, I was that close..."
Thank you cuz for the holiday cheer!! Looking forward to April!!
Go Santana!!