Sunday, April 13, 2014

Bad postcard of the week: Newsflash -- water is wet!

Hey, Eunice, what does that water feel like?
How does the water feel?


I remember when we were kids and went to an ice show at Nassau Coliseum. The way out was along the ice rink. The normally tall hockey rink boards weren't there. You could reach over and touch the ice, which is exactly what every kid did.

An usher, in that classic usher voice that indicated both authority and disdain, said something like, “Keep moving, and don’t touch the ice.”

And I remember someone’s mom or grandma telling the usher, “They just want to touch the ice. Let’s them touch the ice.”

Sensing victory over the usher, I quickly did reach down and touch the ice, along with every other kid within earshot.

It was cold.

It’s not like we were strangers to ice on Long Island. It just needed to be touched. It’s like when the waitress tells you to be careful that the plate is hot. It’s a small rebellion.

I recalled that moment when I saw this week’s bad postcard.

It looks like one person reached over to see if the water was wet, and everyone else on the boat needed to follow suit.

Perhaps the back reveals more: “FLORIDA’S SILVER SPRINGS. Home of World Famous Glass Bottom Boats. Hand Feeding Fish.”

Silver Springs is two things. First, it’s a Fleetwood Mac song that I have a love-hate relationship with. It’s a beautiful song. The studio version was left off “Rumors” for length and demoted to the B-side of the “Go Your Own Way” single.

The live version is even better, and was included on the 1997 reunion, “The Dance.”

It’s great, with one big problem. There’s the line “You’ll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you.”

That should be, “the woman WHO loves you,” of course. I know Stevie is full of angst, but that’s a huge grammatical error. How come no one ever pointed that out?

Anyway, it’s distracting as I listen to an otherwise beautiful song.

Silver Springs also is also one of Florida’s first tourist sites and another reason why Florida tourism history is divided in pre-Disney and post-Disney eras.

Silver Springs is famous for crystal clear water, though it appears kind of muddy in out postcard. And people could ride in boats like “Chief Osceola” and look through the glass bottom boats and see what is below.

Apparently the boats also were trailed by hungry fish. I suppose that’s fun – in a pre-Disney sort of way. Not exactly Space Mountain.

Now if you want to hand-feed gators in the Everglades, that would be a thrill ride.

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