Sunday, October 20, 2013

Bad postcard of the week: Dancing candy canes and other scary things at the Ionia Free Fair

Let's play "Guess the Plot" of the Ionia Free Fair show
I've been to the Ionia Free Fair. I saw some scary things. But nothing as scary as what we see in this week’s bad postcard.

These county fair adventures were a new experience when I arrived in the Midwest. The closest thing we had to these in Massapequa Park was the St. Rose of Lima bazaar each summer. That had lots of carnival rides and games, both of which were scary.

But these Midwestern affairs had all of those, plus all kinds of farm animals. It was kind of fun for the transplanted New Yorker, seeing goats, cows, sheep and other exotic beasts.

The Ionia Free Fair has all those things, and more. Andrew and I went to see the Newsboys and Mat Kearney concert at the fair one year. Not the best venue, but a great show.

Which brings us to this week’s postcard.

The back reads: “Grandstand Show – Ionia Free Fair.  Thousands view the colorful and spectacular production presented every evening in front of the grandstand on the largest outdoor stage in the State of Michigan.”

Well, colorful. Our photo here is either overexposed or horribly lit. We might be better off.

It’s difficult to make out what is going on, but we might not want to know. Let’s focus on the poor guys on our right.
Give it up for these guys, because they know the true meaning of shame.

Imagine the conversation.

“Congratulations, Bobby! We were impressed by your audition. You've earned a role in the Free Fair spectacular production!”

“Jeepers! That’s cool! What’s my role?”

“Well, you get to be a giant, dancing candy cane!”

“Oh. Um, we don’t have to put my name in the program.”

For the life of me, I can’t imagine a production that would include giant dancing canes, much less a production in the middle of summer, with the distinct aroma of horses, cows and pigs wafting in for effect.

Poor Bobby. Let’s hope he was able to take off the costume before walking through the midway on his way home.

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