Sunday, April 19, 2009

Yankee fans: Don't mess with my team, it's home or my cap

I avoid conversing with Yankee fans whenever possible. It just doesn’t end well.

We went the mall after church today so my daughter could use her Justice gift card. I maintain that no male has lasted more than five minutes in Justice, which attracts tween girls the way chicken wings attract adult guys.

So I let the ladies rush ahead and slipped into Lids across the hall to see some of the new baseball caps.

I noticed two employees, as I scanned some of the unstructured caps looking for any thing with the Mets on it, which they have on occasion.

“Anything you’re looking for?” the guy worker asked.

“Just looking. Do you have anything for the Mets?”

“Mets?” the female employee said, practically sneering. “I’m a Yankee fan. We can fight now.”

I looked up, and sure enough there was a woman wearing a cheesy unstructured Yankees cap, the kind that looks intentionally “distressed.”

Now, I’d rather look at the Lip Smackers and Web Kinz at Justice than fight with a Yankee fan because it’s not like you’re going to change their minds.

Anyway, I went back to looking at the caps, and there were a couple Mets ones there.

“The Yankees opened their great new stadium last week,” she said. “Maybe the Mets can get one someday.”

OK, I bit. I don’t know why. Maybe I feared the Jonas Brothers t-shirts more than the conversation. But I’m not going to allow these people to start belittling Citi Field with my sweet brick right there on the FanWalk.

“They have a new one, it’s beautiful. And they don’t get beat 22-4 there.”

“Ooooh man, that hurt!” the male employee said with a grimace. I don’t think he was a Yankee fan, and probably suffers greatly by being exposed to co-workers who think Derek F. Jeter has range or that Robinson Cano is a good player

It was a one-punch knockout.

The humbled Yankee fan walked over and showed me the new Mets caps, and said she could special order caps with the Citi Field patch. She special-ordered a Yankee Stadium cap for her husband.

We discussed the merits of putting the patch on the side, like the Mets did, and on the back, like the Yankees did. Naturally I think the Yankee cap looks ridiculous from any direction, but kept that to myself.

I slipped over to Justice, ready to face the “girls rock” t-shirts and flip-flops, my team and its home properly defended.

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