Thursday, November 02, 2006

Ten excuses for Mota's 50-day suspension

Looks like Guillermo Mota has joined the mandatory 50-unpaid vacation club for his recent positive steroid test.

This is the first Mets player that we actually care about to get busted – sorry, Felix Heredia -- and his timing is pretty bad, considering he was a free agent and all. That’s not going to help with negotiations.

Alas, we had fun with smudged Tigers pitchers last week, so now that the tables have turned, we have to show we are good sports. So, on with Guillermo Mota’s Top 10 Excuses for Getting Busted With Steroids.

1) Had to try something else since Kenny Rogers had already used all the pine tar.

2) The test is in the past. He's not here to talk about the past. He only wants talk about positive things. (Heck, it worked for Mark McGwire. Or not.)

3) He, too, got a vitamin B-12 shot from Miguel Tejada.

4) Sheff said that Barry told him it was flaxseed oil.

5) Needed a good excuse to miss that first series against the Padres, lest Mike Piazza chase him into the clubhouse – again.

6) Was preparing for off-season job on the San Diego Chargers defensive line.

7) When BALCO guy said “Do you want the clear?” thought he was saying “Do you want a beer?”

8) Jason Giambi told him he could take yoga in the off-season to explain the weight loss.
9) He had not time to wash his cap, much less read the label on his meds. Seriously, you see that filthy cap?

10) Needed roids to make sure he didn’t blow important playoff game. Hope he saved the receipt.

The only guy more disappointed than Mota has to be Aaron Heilman, who probably figured resigning Guillermo would have freed him up to be in the rotation.

This is a bummer because we lose the moral high ground when mocking the Yankees. But I still say there’s a difference between a reliever picked up in August is different than, say, a starting first-baseman and starting right-fielder.

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