Wednesday, October 12, 2005

They Have No Shame: Yankee Atrocities Part II

Apparently the Yankees history is so full of digraceful moments that we didn't do it justice in the last post.

Folks insisted that we continue to expose the misbehavior and misadventures of the Bombers. So now we must reveal even more sordid stories of Yankees brushes with the law as well as the loathsome treatment of alleged legends.

Be warned, this stuff isn't pretty.

Luis Polonia, ladies man...

Baseball players have been known to chase the ladies. Of course, most of them look for ladies who are out of high school.

Outfielder Luis Polonia in 1989 invited a female fan up to his room at the Pfister Hotel in Milwaukee, and apparently it was not to help her with her homework.

Milwaukee police decided that it was Polonia who needed the extra tutoring in math, because he allegedly had trouble counting to 18. That's 18 as in "Are you older than...?."

A judge decided Polonia should count to 60, as in 60 days in the hotel with the bars on the windows and pay a $1,500 fine after he pleaded no contest to the charge of having sex with a minor.

Carlton Fisk was not impressed by the two-star athlete.

Deion Sanders' lack of hustle

Deion Sanders was pretty happy with himself and his "Prime Time" persona that he parlayed into dual baseball and football careers.

In a 1990 game against the White Sox, Sanders allegedly drew dollar signs in the dirt as he stepped into the batter's box, then failed to run after meekly popping up.

Sox catcher Carlton Fisk, a throwback warrior if there ever was one, had enough of Deion's act and let him know it when he came to bat later in the game. Sanders allegedly said something stupid like "Lincoln freed the slaves" and Fisk went nuts, emptying both benches.

"There's a right way to play and a wrong to play and you're doing it the wrong way," he said. "Get back in the box and hit or I'll kick your ass right here in Yankee Stadium."

Fisk later said that famous Yankees of the past would be "rolling in their graves" if they saw the way Deion disrepected the game and his uniform.

Sanders, of course, went on to play for the Braves, adding to his already tainted resume.

"Donnie Longhair"

"Classy Yankee" is an oxymoron to be sure. But Don Mattingly might be as close to non-objectionable as a Yankee can get.

He was by far the team's best player for a decade and was surrounded by the likes Mell Hall, Ken Phelps and other players who would get Hall of Fame votes only from Yankee hacks like Bob Klapisch.

Naturally, the Yankees aren't content to leave a semi-decent thing alone. Apparently it's OK to be boozing, brawling and sitting naked on cakes (read Sparky Lyle's book "Bronx Zoo" for details). But if your hair gets a little long, you're going to learn your place and quick.

And apparently Mattingly's locks were more important than his batting average, because manager Stump Merrill benched him on Aug. 5, 1991 for failing to get to a barber in time. And I'm sure all the fans who came to the game that day were so glad to see someone else at first instead of their hero.

Lock your lockers

Yankee outfielder Ruben Rivera was getting paid more than $1 million, but apparently he needed some more scratch because he allegedly stole one of Derek Jeter's bats and gloves and sold them to a greasy memorabilia dealer for a couple grand.

Maybe Ruben was distraught that no one wanted to buy any of his own used gear.

Personally, I wouldn't want to touch anything in Jeter's locker unless I was wearing a haz-mat suit.

Apparently not even Rivera's teammates amused, since he was quickly given his release.

"Boomer" in the Bag

It's no shock that David Wells was "half drunk" when he pitched that game, according to his autobiography, "Perfect I’m Not! Boomer on Beer, Brawls, Backaches and Baseball."

Another disgrace to Yankee tradition. You can bet that Mickey Mantle never took the field half drunk. No way, baby. I have no doubt that the Mick was 100 percent tanked even before batting practice.

Nice no-no...or not

I don't think Andy Hawkins was drunk during his pitching gem on July 1, 1990. But I bet he sought solace in the sauce afterwards.

Hawkins was throwing a no-no at Comiskey Park. Sadly for him, he gave up a couple walks and had the misfortune of having Yankee clank-glovers Mike Blowers, Jesse Barfield and Jim Leyritz in the field behind him. A trio of errors later and the Sox end the inning with a 4 on the scoreboard under the runs despite a 0 under the hits.

Since the Sox were the home team, they didn't need to come to bat in the bottom of the ninth -- winning despite being no-hit.

Even worse for Hawkins, the commissioner's office later ruled that he didn't have an official no-hitter because he didn't go nine innings.

How to mistreat an icon

Yogi Berra is supposed to be a Yankee legend, but that hasn't stopped the team from treating him like crap.

Yogi, whose tenure as a Met showed him to be a decent guy despite serious Yankee taint, was named manager of the Skanks in 1964. He took the team all the way to the World Series, losing in seven games to the Cardinals.

Not bad for a rookie manager, you would think. But not in slimy Yankee World. Yogi was canned the day after the Series, replaced by Cardinals manager Johnny Keane.

Apparently the Yankee brass decided Yogi lost control of the team after a 5-0 loss to the White Sox on Aug. 20. Phil Linz started playing "Mary Had a Little Lamb" -- he was a Yankee, don't expect a more complex song -- on his harmonica. Linz wouldn't stop, and Berra slapped the harmonica out of his hands.

Linz, who later tried to reform his life a Met, displayed his manager-slaying harmonica skills.

Apparently a glutton for punishment, Yogi accepted the Yankees manager's job again 21 years later. In spring training, owner George Steinbrenner said Berra would be the manager the entire season, win or lose, and that a bad start will not affect his job.

The Yankees started 6-10. Berra was fired. Never believe a Yankee.

Reggie's butt and SlapRod

Yankees apparently use their body parts in inappropriate ways during the post-season.

First, Reggie Jackson -- whose Yankee tenure is full of more ick than an untreated aquarium -- was on first base during the 1978 World Series against the Dodgers when Lou Piniella hit one to shortstop Bill Russell, who stepped on second then threw to first to Steve Garvey to complete what appeared to be a certain double play.

Except that Reggie, with everyone watching except apparently the umpires, stuck his butt into the path of the ball, deflecting it into right and allowing Thurman Munson to score.

The Dodgers argued that Reggie intentionally interfered with the ball. But you know that calls don't go against the Yankees.

Unless, of course, a play is so horrendous that the men in blue are so disgusted that they have no choice. We have to look no further than the 2004 Division Series.

Alex Rodriguez is presumably baseball's highest-paid player because of his powerful stick -- but that wasn't on display in a crucial situation. Instead, ARod meekly tapped one up the line to Red Sox pitcher Bronson Arroyo.

As Arroyo prepared to lay the tag, ARod slapped the ball out of his glove -- and got called out anyway. Lucky for him Carlton Fisk wasn't there to blast him on the spot for disgracing not only his uniform, but every uniform from beer league softball teams to the majors.

Thank you to all the folks who sent reminders of these Yankee misdeeds!


jabair said...

thanx MGM

someone posted this @ metstradamus:

Anonymous said...

The sun came at 6:54.

The group of 25 men stirred from an uneasy sleep, the taste of losing, like day old vomit, still lingering in their collective mouths.

They stare out at the wasteland called Southern California, the sun the color of their opponents' jerseys, the dull throb in their heads, the gift from 60,000 throats, reverberates in their skulls.

The clammy reality of defeat, like a wet New England fog, permeates each man, totally, deeply, bone deep. One thought, lodged deep in each brain, the only commonality among this perverse band of brothers, whispers in their ears. "I'm a loser, I'm a loser, I'm a loser......".

At the same time a smaller group, older, heavier, grayer, make their way to the airport, walking like the doomed at San Quentin, trying to put distance between this cursed coast and their homes back east.

Three thousand miles away, a porcine, Teutonic fist snatches the telephone receiver, the sausage-like fingers stab viciously at the keypad. A raspy bark ejaculates from the turtlenecked throat and splits the air like a gunshot. "Get Cashman and Torre down here...."

And so it begins............

jabair said...

Kyle in Newport News posted this over @ metstradamus:

In an article about Yankee reaction to Buck Showalter pulling three of his starters in the third inning of the Rangers' Game 162 against the Angels:

But even there, A-Rod's the one making the brash statement.

jabair said...

one of the NY papers had a pic of AROD riding out of the angels clubhouse on a golf cart.. the caption said he was the only one riding out n the cart.. everyone else walked out.. this was after the got spanked out of the playoffs...

dude.. you gotta find that pic... its priceless...

jabair said...

now he is turning into a degenerate gambles

Mets Guy in Michigan said...

Sounds like ARod ahs soem issues to work out!

Michael Leggett said...

According to Jim Gerard's Book, "YANKEES SUCK", food preparation in The Stadium, is unsanitary, as Dumpsters, are located near the concession stands, often causing patrons, nausea, & Intestinal Distress.

Who do DFYankees, bribe in The NYC Department of Health?

Michael Leggett said...

You mean "A-$25.2M-Fraud"?

Anonymous said...

Hope you like my homage to Mickey Spillane.

Yankee Atocities? What about the stories of the hallowed Babe's behavior? His life was a steady diet of booze, hot dogs and hookers. There are stories of his legendary appetite, taking on entire whorehouses in a single night. Taking nothing away from his amazing talents, but this guy was a neanderthal. But you never heard any of that because he had this cadre of sycophantic scribblers making him out to be good ol' lovable Babe.
One of those scribblers went on to be baseball comissioner. (see Roger Maris travesty) Speaking of Maris, how wonderful were the denizons of the Bronx in 1960?
And don't forget Lou Gehrig. After his day at Yankee Stadium the Yankees essentially closed the door on the poor slob. Mayor Fiorello LaGuardia gave him a job on the New York City Parole Board, which he worked at until he died in 1941.
Yeah, it's a classy organization all right.

Anonymous said...

Yankees do NOT equal class. Class means winning with grace and losing with dignity. Have you EVER seen a Yankee win with grace and lose with dignity?

After the 2001 loss Mariano Rivera blamed Scott Brosius for not turning a double-play. What he neglects to mention about that non-double-play is that the only reason it might have been necessary is that Rivera himself made the error that kept the inning going.

After the 2002 loss, official Jeter mouthpiece Jorge Posada blamed Bernie Williams's declining defensivie abilities.

This past spring, when the Red Sox were taking shots at E-Rod (Bob Huessler of WFAN gets credit for this), not a single Yankee came to his defense. They stood up for a lying, cheating coward (Giambi) but not for Rodriguez.

Yep. They just ooze class, don't they?

Joe said...

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmm . . . Yankee shame . . . it's delicious.